This is not who I am

To my parents, my siblings and my family first,

To all those who saw only the surface, and thought I was inhibited, blinkered, wild or mad, that I was living only for work and fame, or out of selfishness,
to all those who never truly knew who was standing in front of them – this is for you too.


This is not who I am. This is not what I want. I’m sorry, but you’ve mistaken me for somebody else.
You have been, you are still in denial. That, I know. I’ve known it for years, actually.
Still, I haven’t done anything about it yet. I hadn’t the strength to do it, until now.
I have always stayed hidden under a blank mask, by the physical distance between you and me, by my silence in front of your queries, under your eyes.
But I cannot do it anymore now.
Because if I go on as I did before, as I aways did despite my rebellions, it means I’m slowly killing my own self by stifling her with the self you decided she was.
I just cannot do that anymore.